big city quiet: December 2014

December 30, 2014

one little word • 2015

Like the past two years, I'm entering into the new year with a word that is meant to guide me; a word that represents what I want for the year, what I'm going to strive for and hope for. Last year my word didn't come easily to me. This year, it seemed to bark at me from every angle, making it impossible to ignore.

Grow: to be capable of developing. To come into existence. To raise. To expand and increase. To reach maturity. To become larger. To become better or improved.

I don't delve very deep into my issues here, but let me tell you: my life is far from perfect, and my attitude towards life and how I feel about myself are far from perfect as well. This is why 'grow' has such a deep-rooted meaning for me.

I intend to grow. Grow as a mother. Grow as a wife. Grow as a woman. Grow in my relationships, my friendships. Grow with purpose and intention. Grow stronger, wiser, higher. Grow professionally and creatively.

I'm excited to see how my one little word will manifest itself in 2015, and I hope that you will all follow along on my journey to find out.

++

You can read about my one little word for 2013 here and 2014 here.

* One Little Word is "a word to focus on, meditate on, and reflect upon as you go about your daily life", created by Ali Edwards. You can see all of my one little word posts here.

December 29, 2014

Project Life 2014 | Week 51

Week 51. Only one more week left in the year, crazy! There was lots to say this week so I created a double spread.

December 28, 2014

DJ, at 21 months

I want to remember the way you say "mmmm" when you eat something you really enjoy.

I want to remember how when you get a hold of something you know you shouldn't have, you turn to us and hold up your index finger close to your face as if to say, "I just want to play with it for a second!"

I want to remember how much you love the bench at our new table. That you seem to eat much more if we set your plate down and let you eat standing up at your own pace.

December 27, 2014

52 / 52

"A portrait of my child, once a week, every week in 2014"

Another yearly tradition in the bag: family photos at Christmas time in the Bellagio atrium. So happy that we have done this for five years now.

And just like that this incredible, frustrating-at-times, inspiring series comes to an end. Will I continue on in 2015? I think I just might...

December 22, 2014

Project Life 2014 | Week 50

Week 50. Are there really only two more weeks left in 2014?!

December 21, 2014

December Daily® | Days 16-19

Hello December Daily® days sixteen through nineteen.

December 20, 2014

51 / 52

"A portrait of my child, once a week, every week in 2014"

This week, despite it being so up and down, he blew me away with how much he is beginning to really understand us. I'm truly starting to feel as though my baby is officially gone.

December 19, 2014

10 Project Life Pages I Wish I'd Created

There is some amazing talent out there, that's the truth. And I'm constantly finding inspiration for my own creative projects each time I turn on my computer.

Here are ten project life pages I absolutely adore, and wish I could claim as my own.

December 17, 2014

December Daily® | Days 12-15

Hello December Daily® days twelve through fifteen.

December 16, 2014

December Daily® | Days 9-11

Hello December Daily® days nine through eleven.

December 15, 2014

Project Life 2014 | Week 49

Week 49! How we're this far into December already is beyond me!

December 13, 2014

this untitled post

It is 12:15 on a cool, Saturday afternoon and my son has just gone down for his nap. With a steaming, black cup of coffee beside me, I finally have a moment to sit and get some of these thoughts out of my head.

I feel as though I have reached an all-new level of exhaustion. This one is different from the debilitating exhaustion you feel with a newborn, and beyond that of the average stay at home mom. I'm exhausted with myself; with my emotions and the million excruciating thoughts that domineer my mind. I'm exhausted by the status quo, and how long I've been merely existing instead of truly living my life.

The worst side effect of this new level of exhaustion is that I feel as though I'm angry, all the time. I stepped on a duplo block and nearly twisted my ankle? Angry. My son won't stop throwing his apples on the floor? Angry. My husband talks to his cousin on the phone about cars for twenty minutes while I continue struggling to entertain our toddler that hasn't stopped fussing the whole day I've been home alone with him? Very angry.

All roads these days lead straight to anger. And that shit's not healthy, people. I know that as well as the next person.

I honestly never thought I'd be a stay at home mom at all, let alone for so long. I believe there are women who are truly made for this role, and others who are not, like me.

I miss busy-ness. I do. I like having a schedule, deadlines, someone praising me when I complete a task, someone to report to, a pay check.

I don't know what 2015 will bring, but I do know that I am going to seek out more of the real kind of busy-ness, the good kind. The kind that fills your heart to the brim, that sends you to bed happy. I don't have enough of this in my life. I need more of this in my life.

Maybe, just maybe, it will help me to stop being so angry. Because if I look around me, there is a hell of a lot to be thankful for.

50 / 52

"A portrait of my child, once a week, every week in 2014"

To date he hasn't shown even the slightest interest in stuffed animals. When I spotted this Mickey toy, I had a feeling he would adore it. Turns out, he can't get enough of it, and carries it around constantly, always tucked closely against him. It was meant to be a Christmas present, wrapped under the tree. I'll give him just this one early.

December 10, 2014

December Daily® | Days 6-8

Hello December Daily® days six through eight. I had originally planned to share my pages every fifth day but I'm just have too much fun to wait that long, so I will post as I see fit :)

December 9, 2014

A Story About our Kitchen

I'm going to ask you for your help at the end of this all, but first, a little story.

I have this thing with my kitchen. I seem to never be satisfied with how it looks. I want to change this, I want to change that. I don't like the positioning of this, or how much counter space that takes up. It's a battle (and a dumb one at that) that I wage on myself.

I'm constantly moving things around, looking for new storage solutions, trying to keep as much off of the counters as I can, then adding things back in. And don't even get me started on how the kitchen table always ends up being a dumping ground (new years resolution number x: stop dumping).

December 8, 2014

Project Life 2014 | Week 48

Week 48, and it's one of my favorites!

December 6, 2014

49 / 52

"A portrait of my child, once a week, every week in 2014"

This age, like any age, comes with its complications. But my goodness, this kid. He has my whole heart and so much more. 20 months is the best yet.

December Daily® | Days 1-5

A mere five days into my December Daily® project and I'm already so in love. Why have I never done this until this year? The small format is a great change from my usual 12x12 and I'm loving focusing on one story each day.

December 3, 2014

And then we decorated

December is my favorite time of the year. Visiting with friends and family over seemingly endless cups of hot coffee (sometimes laced with Baileys, yum), giving gifts you know the other person is going to love, seeing the wonderment on your kids faces as they stare up at the Christmas tree.

It's my favorite, hands down. So naturally, fresh out of Thanksgiving mode this past Sunday, the hubby pulled out the boxes from the garage and we went to work.